How to Talk to HR About Counseling and EAP Options
Talking to a therapist is hard enough to imagine. Talking to your workplace about it can feel like an even bigger step.
You might worry:
Will HR think I cannot handle my job
Will this affect how my manager sees me
Will my information stay private
At the same time, many companies already pay for mental health support through Employee Assistance Programs, or EAPs, and other benefits. These services are there to help with stress, anxiety, low mood, relationship issues, grief, burnout, and more. If you never ask, you might miss out on support you are already entitled to use.
You do not have to share your whole story with HR to ask about counseling or EAP options. With a bit of preparation and clear questions, you can protect your privacy and still access helpful resources.
Safe workplace environment encouraging emotional expression and healing
What EAPs and counseling benefits usually cover
Employee Assistance Programs are designed to give employees short term, confidential support for personal or work related issues. Every program is different, but many EAPs include:
A set number of free counseling sessions per issue or per year
Support for anxiety, low mood, stress, grief, and relationship concerns
Help with work related stress or conflict
Referrals to longer term therapy or community resources if needed
In addition to EAPs, some employers also offer:
Mental health coverage through health insurance
Telehealth options for counseling
Workshops or webinars on stress, resilience, and burnout
You are not asking for a special favor when you ask about these. You are asking how to use a benefit that already exists for employees.
Step 1: Decide what you are and are not comfortable sharing
Before you talk with HR, get very clear with yourself about your privacy boundaries.
Ask yourself:
Do I want to keep this strictly about benefits and logistics
Is there anything about my mental health I am comfortable sharing, or do I prefer to keep all details private
How would I feel if my manager knew I was using counseling, even if they did not know why
You are not required to share:
Your diagnosis, if you have one
Details about trauma, relationship issues, or personal history
Specifics about what you will talk about in therapy
You can keep the conversation focused on benefits, such as:
“I would like to understand what mental health resources are available to employees.”
“Can you tell me about our EAP and how to access confidential counseling services”
Knowing your boundaries ahead of time makes it easier to stay within them when you feel nervous.
Step 2: Check what is already written down
Sometimes you can find a lot of information about counseling and EAP options without talking to anyone yet.
Look in:
Your employee handbook
Your company intranet or benefits portal
Emails from HR about open enrollment or wellness programs
Search for terms like:
Employee Assistance Program or EAP
Mental health benefits
Counseling
Behavioral health
Wellness resources
Take notes on:
What is clearly explained
What feels confusing
What is missing
Then, when you contact HR, you can say:
“I read through the benefits portal and saw something about an EAP. I have a few questions about how it works.”
This shows that you have done some homework and helps you ask more specific questions.
Employee opening up to HR about counseling options
Step 3: Choose how you want to contact HR
You can usually reach HR in different ways:
Email
Phone
Video, if remote
In person meeting
Choose whatever feels safest and most comfortable for you.
Email can be helpful if:
You want time to think through your words
You want written information you can refer back to
You feel anxious about talking live
You might write something like:
Hi [Name or HR Team],
I have a few questions about our mental health benefits and any Employee Assistance Program options that may be available. I am particularly interested in understanding what counseling resources are offered and how confidentiality works.
Would you be able to share some information or suggest a time to talk further
Thank you,
[Your Name]
A live conversation can be helpful if:
You prefer to get answers in real time
You have several follow up questions
You feel more comfortable speaking than writing
If you set up a meeting, you can keep your request simple:
“I would like to schedule a short meeting to learn about counseling and EAP options that are available to employees.”
In therapy or counseling, feelings like guilt and fear around boundaries are often part of the work. A therapist can help you trace where those beliefs came from and learn new ways to relate to them. You may request a free consultation and find what best options are available for you.
Safe therapy environment encouraging emotional expression and healing
Step 4: Questions you can bring to HR
When you talk with HR, having a short list of questions can keep you focused and less anxious.
Some helpful questions include:
About what is available
“Do we have an Employee Assistance Program, and what does it include”
“How many counseling sessions are covered, and is there a cost to me”
“Are sessions in person, online, or both”
About conidentiality
“How is confidentiality handled when I use EAP counseling”
“Will my manager or anyone at work know that I am using the EAP”
“What information, if any, does the company receive about EAP usage”
“How do I contact the EAP or counseling provider directly”
“Do I need to go through HR first, or can I reach out on my own”
“Do I have to use my work email or can I use a personal email or phone number”
About health insurance, if applicable
“If I want longer term therapy beyond the EAP, does our health plan cover mental health visits”
“Do we have a list of in network therapists
These questions keep the conversation at the level of structure and privacy, not personal details. You may request a free consultation and find what best options are available for you.
Mental wellness encouraged at workplace
Step 5: Protecting your privacy in the process
Even when an EAP is confidential, it is normal to worry about who knows what.
A few points to remember:
EAP providers are usually third party companies, not your employer. They have their own confidentiality rules.
In many programs, your employer receives only broad usage statistics, not individual names or session details.
HR does not need to know why you are seeking counseling in order to help you access your benefits.
If you feel unsure, you can say directly:
“Confidentiality is very important to me. Can you explain who at the company, if anyone, would know that I used the EAP”
You can also choose to:
Contact the EAP from a personal device instead of a work computer, if that helps you feel safer
Use personal contact information instead of your work email if the program allows it
You are allowed to take steps that ease your mind as you reach for support.
Step 6: Deciding what to share with your manager, if anything
In many cases, you do not have to tell your manager that you are using counseling or EAP services. Your mental health care is personal.
However, there may be situations where sharing a small amount of information helps. For example:
You need a flex schedule for a while to attend appointments
You need temporary adjustments because of high stress, grief, or burnout
If you choose to share, you do not need to provide details.
You can keep it brief and professional:
“I am taking steps to take care of my health, including some appointments. I may need to adjust my schedule slightly on certain days.”
“I am working with HR to use some of our wellness resources and may need a bit of flexibility with timing in the next few weeks.”
If your workplace has formal policies for accommodations, HR can also help you understand those, especially if your mental health condition significantly affects major life activities.
The key is that you stay in control of your story. You decide who knows what and how much.
Step 7: Following through after you get the information
Once you understand your counseling and EAP options, the next step is reaching out to the actual provider.
This might look like:
Calling the EAP number and requesting counseling
Filling out a secure online form to match with a therapist
Choosing between phone, video, or in person sessions if those options exist
It is completely normal to feel nervous about this step.
You can prepare a simple sentence for the provider, such as:
“I am calling through my company’s EAP. I have been dealing with anxiety and stress and would like to start counseling.”
“I am interested in short term counseling through the EAP to talk about burnout and overwhelm.”
You do not have to say it perfectly. These professionals are used to people feeling unsure and scared when they reach out. You may check this out and find what best options are available for you.
Talking to your HR about counseling and EAP
Step 8: If the first step is disappointing, try again
Sometimes the first response you get is confusing or not very helpful. Do not let that be the final word.
If HR is unclear, you can:
Ask to speak with a different HR representative
Say, “I am still confused about how to access counseling. Can you walk me through the steps”
If the EAP provider you talk with does not feel like a good fit, you can:
Ask, “Are there other counselors I can choose from”
Request a different therapist if the program allows it
You are not being difficult. You are learning how the system works and advocating for your mental health. That is exactly what these benefits are intended for.
Giving yourself permission to use the support you have
Talking to HR about counseling and EAP options can feel like crossing a line you never thought you would cross. It can bring up fears, shame, or worries about being seen as weak.
The reality is the opposite. Reaching for mental health support is an act of courage and responsibility. You are taking your wellbeing seriously, which also supports your work, your relationships, and your long term stability.
If you are thinking about contacting HR and feel nervous, you might start with one gentle step:
Write a short email draft asking about mental health benefits, even if you do not send it yet
Look up the EAP section in your benefits portal and highlight what you do not understand
Set a reminder to call HR for a brief, practical conversation about counseling options
You do not have to disclose your whole story to get help. You simply have to be willing to say, “I am looking for mental health support. What is available, and how does it work” From there, you can move one step at a time toward the care you already deserve. Take the next step to find out more. Request a free consultation here.