Making a Simple Safety Plan for Tough Days
Everyone has hard days.
For some people, tough days mean feeling a little more stressed or tired. For others, they mean waves of anxiety, heavy depression, racing thoughts, or a sense that everything is too much.
In those moments, it can be hard to think clearly. Your nervous system is in survival mode. The tools you know in theory can suddenly feel out of reach.
A simple safety plan is a way of caring for your future self. You create it on a calmer day so that on a harder day, you are not starting from zero. It is a short, practical guide that says, “Here is what helps me, here is who I can reach out to, here is how I will stay as safe as I can.”
It does not need to be dramatic. It does not mean you are “broken.” It is just a thoughtful backup plan for your mental health.
What a safety plan really is
A safety plan is a one page (or even half page) reminder of:
Your personal warning signs
Coping tools that help you ride out intense moments
People you can contact when you are struggling
Professional and crisis resources you can use if things get more serious
It is meant to be simple enough that you can use it when your brain feels foggy, anxious, or overwhelmed. It is not a journal entry or an essay. It is more like a small map.
You can keep it:
In the notes app on your phone
On a card in your wallet
On paper in a place you see often
The goal is not perfection. The goal is something you will actually use.
An individual preparing for emotional crisis through therapy planning
Step 1: Name your warning signs
Hard days rarely come out of nowhere. Most people have early warning signs, even if they do not notice them yet. Learning your signs is a form of mental health awareness.
Think about recent times when things felt really rough. Ask yourself:
What happens in my thoughts
What happens in my body
What happens in my behavior
Some examples:
Thoughts
“I cannot do this.”
“Everyone would be better off without me.”
“Nothing will ever change.”
Body
Tight chest, shallow breathing
Stomach aches or nausea
Heavy fatigue or restless energy
Behavior
Withdrawing from friends, ignoring messages
Staying in bed much longer than usual
Not eating, or eating very chaotically
Using more substances or numbing habits
In your safety plan, you might write:
My warning signs:
I start avoiding messages and calls
My thoughts get very negative and hopeless
My sleep is all over the place
I feel a heavy weight in my chest
This section is like a yellow light on the dashboard. It tells you, “Something needs care.”
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Preparing to have an encouraging emotional expression and healing
Step 2: List your “do it alone” coping tools
Before reaching out to anyone, there are things you can try on your own that can soften the intensity a little. These are internal coping strategies.
Think about things that have helped you even a little in the past, such as:
Grounding exercises
Naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste
Holding something cold, like ice or a chilled drink
Pressing your feet into the floor and noticing the contact
Soothing actions
Taking a warm shower
Wrapping yourself in a blanket
Listening to calming music or a familiar podcast
Gentle structure
Eating a small snack or drinking water
Stepping outside for a few minutes
Doing one tiny task, like brushing your teeth or opening the curtains
Keep them small and realistic. “Fix my life” is not a coping tool. “Drink a glass of water and take three slow breaths” is.
In your safety plan, you might write:
Things I can try on my own:
Breathe in for 4, out for 6, ten times
Take a shower or wash my face and hands
Step outside and notice my surroundings for five minutes
Put on one comfort show or playlist that usually steadies me
The idea is not to erase all pain. It is to bring your emotional temperature down enough that you can decide what to do next.
This scene highlights how individuals manage stress, anxiety, and emotional challenge
Step 3: Choose your “reach out” people
You do not have to wait until a full crisis to contact someone. Reaching out early can prevent things from getting worse.
Think about:
One or two people you trust
People who are kind, not perfect
People who can listen without immediately trying to fix everything
This might be:
A close friend
A partner or family member
A mentor, faith leader, or trusted coworker
In your plan, list:
Their name
How to contact them
A simple message you could send when you are struggling
For example:
People I can reach out to:
Maya, text: “I am having a rough mental health day. Do you have a few minutes to talk”
Chris, call: “I do not need advice, I just need someone on the phone for a bit.”
You do not need a long explanation in the moment. Your prewritten sentence can do the hard work of starting the conversation.
If you worry about “bothering” people, remember: the ones who care about you would rather know you are having a hard time than find out later that you suffered alone.
You may request a free consultation and find what best options you can be comfortable with.
Safe therapy environment encouraging emotional expression and healing
Step 4: Add professional and crisis supports
A complete safety plan also includes support that goes beyond friends and family. This does not mean you are weak. It means you recognize that some situations are bigger than what loved ones can hold alone.
Your list might include:
Your therapist or counselor
Name, phone, email, or portal
Example: “Message Dr. Lee through the portal if I have had several bad days in a row.”
Your doctor or psychiatrist
Name, phone
Example: “Call Dr. Smith if sleep or panic attacks get much worse.”
Crisis and hotline options
A crisis line you can call or text if you feel unsafe with your thoughts
Local emergency room or urgent care address
In your plan, you might write:
Getting ready for professional crisis and support.
Step 4: Add professional and crisis supports
A complete safety plan also includes support that goes beyond friends and family. This does not mean you are weak. It means you recognize that some situations are bigger than what loved ones can hold alone.
Your list might include:
Your therapist or counselor
Name, phone, email, or portal
Example: “Message Dr. Lee through the portal if I have had several bad days in a row.”
Your doctor or psychiatrist
Name, phone
Example: “Call Dr. Smith if sleep or panic attacks get much worse.”
Crisis and hotline options
A crisis line you can call or text if you feel unsafe with your thoughts
Local emergency room or urgent care address
In your plan, you might write:
Professional and crisis supports:
Therapist: [Name], contact: [info]
Doctor: [Name], contact: [info]
Crisis line: [number or text option] if I feel I might act on harmful thoughts
You are not promising to never struggle. You are giving yourself a clear path so that in the worst moments, you do not have to figure everything out from scratch.
Step 5: Put your plan where you can actually use it
A safety plan only helps if you can find it when you need it.
Options:
Put it in your phone notes with a simple title like “Safety plan for tough days.”
Take a photo of a paper plan and favorite it in your camera roll.
Keep a paper copy in your wallet, nightstand, or journal.
You can also tell one trusted person that you made a safety plan and where you keep it. You might say:
“I made a simple plan for hard days. If I ever tell you I am not okay, can you remind me to pull it out”
This is not drama. It is structure, the same way people make plans for storms, medical flares, or other emergencies.
Using your plan in times of emotional crisis, stress, anxiety, and emotional wellbeing
Step 6: Practice using it before things get very bad
It may feel strange to use a safety plan when you are “just a bit off,” but this is actually the best time to practice.
On a moderately hard day, you might:
Notice a warning sign and say, “Okay, this is on my list.”
Try one or two of your solo coping tools.
Text a friend with your prewritten message even if you are not in crisis.
Practicing when the intensity is lower trains your brain to reach for the plan more automatically later. It also helps you see what actually works and what needs to be changed.
In therapy, you can bring your plan to a session and say:
“Can we go through this together and see if it makes sense”
“I tried these steps last week when things were hard. Here is what helped, here is what did not.”
Your safety plan is a living document. It can grow with you.
Step 7: Update and adjust without judging yourself
Healing is not a straight line. Some seasons will feel steadier, others more fragile. Your safety plan can reflect that without becoming a measuring stick for your worth.
Every so often, ask:
Have my warning signs changed
Are there coping tools I never use and new ones I want to add
Do I need to add or remove any names from my support list
Are my crisis resources still accurate
You might notice that what felt impossible six months ago feels more reachable now. That is progress. You might also notice new stressors or triggers that need care. That is useful information, not failure.
The act of updating your plan is already a form of self respect. It means you are paying attention.
A gentle reminder about safety and worth
If your tough days sometimes include thoughts of hurting yourself, or wishing you would not wake up, you are not alone and you are not beyond help. These thoughts are signals of pain, not evidence that you do not deserve support.
Your safety plan is not a contract that forces you to be okay. It is a compassionate framework that says:
My pain is real, and so is my value
I am willing to prepare for hard moments instead of pretending they will never happen
I deserve options besides white knuckling my way through the dark
If you can, consider creating your plan with a therapist or counselor. They can help you shape each step so it fits your life, your history, and your nervous system. And if you do not have a therapist yet, building a basic safety plan is still a powerful place to start.
You do not have to wait for a crisis to care for yourself. A simple safety plan for tough days is one small way of saying, “When things get hard, I will not abandon myself. I will reach for support, one step at a time.”
From there, you can move toward care that feels safer, deeper, and more aligned with who you are. Schedule a free therapy consultation to help you sort all things out.